Have you ever felt like you’re doing your best… yet somehow it still doesn’t feel like enough?
Even when life is “good,” something inside you questions whether you are.
That small feeling of self-doubt never fully disappears, it just sits quietly in the background.
And if you’ve ever felt that, you’re not alone. I’ve lived it too.
Where My Self-Doubt Began
As a kid, I dreamed of having lots of friends. I thought it would make me cool and confident.
And when that finally started happening, I wanted to hold onto it so badly that I was slowly turning into someone I wasn’t.
I said yes when I wanted to say no.
I stayed quiet when I wanted to speak up.
I adjusted myself so others would like me.
That’s how my people-pleasing era began. Not out of weakness, but out of fear of losing connection.
But the more I tried to fit in, the further I drifted from myself. I didn’t even realize for years that the friend groups around me weren’t right for who I was becoming.
The moment things shifted
Everything changed when I moved to Amsterdam and started working at Cocos, a bar filled with people from all over the world. Different cultures, styles, and personalities that were all unapologetically themselves.
Being surrounded by that energy opened something up for me.
I didn’t need to prove.
I didn’t need to be liked, I just needed to be myself.
And when I finally did, I felt free.
Understanding Self-Doubt
Self-doubt isn’t weakness, it’s a response to pressure:
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pressure to be liked
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pressure to succeed
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pressure to be perfect
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pressure to be everything, all at once
And comparison only intensifies it.
But here’s what I want you to remember:
Self-doubt doesn’t mean you’re not capable, it means you’re in the middle of growing.
And growth feels uncomfortable because you’re stepping into a version of yourself you haven’t fully met yet.
5 Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt and Build Confidence
These are the practices that helped me move from uncertainty to inner trust.
1. Embrace Your Authenticity
Confidence doesn’t come from being liked, it comes from being real.
Let go of performing.
Let go of pleasing.
Let go of shaping yourself to fit someone else’s expectations.
Your uniqueness isn’t something to fix, it’s something to be proud of.
Start small:
- wear what feels like you
- say what you truly mean (but if you don’t have anything nice to say, please don’t say it at all)
- choose what lights you up
The more honest you are with yourself, the more confident you become.
I’ve written about how to live more authentically, if this speaks to you and you would like to dive deeper, then you can find that post here.
2. Celebrate Your Small Wins
Confidence isn’t built through major achievements, it’s built through tiny steps:
- saying no to extra work when you’re overwhelmed
- showing up as yourself in conversations
- finishing something you’ve been avoiding
- resting when your body needs it
- following your intuition even when it’s scary
Every time you choose yourself, you send a signal to your brain:
“I can trust myself.”
Confidence grows through repetition, not perfection.
3. Change the Way You Speak to Yourself
Your inner voice sets the tone for how you move through life.
Be honest, do you speak to yourself with kindness?
Try this:
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when your mind says “I’m not good enough,” reply with “I’m learning — and that’s enough right now.”
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when your mind says “I can’t,” answer with “I’m capable, even if I’m scared.”
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
The right people don’t just support you, they also give you good energy.
Look for:
- conversations that feel like oxygen
- friendships where you can show up messy
- people who celebrate your growth, not just your success
You don’t need to earn your place in the right spaces, you just need to be yourself.
5. Invest in Self-Care
You cannot build confidence from a depleted body or a tired nervous system.
Self-care isn’t just baths and skincare — it’s:
- sleep
- movement
- nourishing food
- rest without guilt
- time alone
- journaling
- slowing down
You can overcome self-doubt — gently
Self-doubt doesn’t disappear overnight — but it does soften when you start showing up as your true self.
And if you’re ready to go deeper into your self-love journey, I created something to support you:
✨ FREE 30-Day Self-Love & Inner Growth Challenge
Daily affirmations, reflections, and tiny actions to help you reconnect with yourself and build inner confidence,
Just 10 minutes a day.
One last reminder
- You don’t need to be perfect to be loved.
- You don’t need to be confident to begin.
- You just need to begin — and confidence will meet you along the way.
You are enough just as you are.
If you’d like to receive these reflections more intimately, I share them in my monthly newsletter, a soft space for women on a journey of self-love and inner growth.
You can join the circle here 
