For a long time, I thought I had to do a lot in order to achieve something.
- To stay productive.
- To be disciplined.
- And to stay on top of things.
And I was.
I was organised, motivated, working 9–5, taking care of the home, cooking, working out, writing, and spending time with my loved ones.
So yes, I was doing all the “right” things. But inside, something felt off.
The more I pushed, the more disconnected I felt from myself. Tired in a way rest alone didn’t fix.
Inspired, but exhausted. Ready for more, but with no energy to sprint toward it.
Unfortunately, I pushed myself into anxiety and borderline burnout before I finally made slowing down a priority.
I finally understood that I didn’t need more structure. I needed more softness.
And that’s when I began to understand what balancing masculine and feminine energy truly means. It’s about finding the balance between these two energies.
- Knowing when to push.
- And knowing when to let go.
The season that pushed me out of balance
Before this reset, my life was running almost entirely on masculine energy.
- Structure.
- Doing.
- Achieving.
- Holding it all together.
I was working full-time, renovating, creating content, showing up for my loved ones, and learning new things.
I kept telling myself I could handle it. And technically, I could.
But my body was tired.
My nervous system was overwhelmed.
And my creativity, the part of me that feels most alive, started to feel forced.
What masculine & feminine energy actually mean
Masculine and feminine energy aren’t about gender, they’re about how we move through life.
Masculine energy is:
- structure
- direction
- focus
- boundaries
- taking action
Feminine energy is:
- intuition
- creativity
- rest
- softness
- being present
Neither is better than the other. But when one dominates for too long, an imbalance happens.
How do these energies show up in our everyday lives?
Staying too long in masculine energy doesn’t always look dramatic. Most of the time, it looks normal.
It can look like:
- waking up already tired, but still pushing through
- feeling guilty when you rest
- always thinking about what’s next
- turning hobbies into tasks
- needing a plan for everything
- feeling productive, but disconnected
- saying “I’ll slow down later”, and never doing it
You might be doing all the “right” things, yet feeling strangely empty, irritable, anxious, or flat. Your body keeps going, but your nervous system is exhausted.
That’s what being stuck in masculine energy felt like for me.
Capable. Responsible. High-functioning. But disconnected from myself.
On the other hand, staying too long in feminine energy can feel like:
- having ideas but no follow-through
- waiting for motivation instead of creating structure
- feeling inspired, but overwhelmed by execution
- floating from one feeling to another
- avoiding decisions because they feel heavy
- craving ease, but feeling stuck
Both extremes create imbalance, just in different ways.
Balance isn’t about choosing one energy. It’s about knowing when to soften and when to act.
And for me, the problem wasn’t a lack of discipline. It was a lack of softness.
How does my energy feel now?
Three months into this gentle reset, I feel different, not perfect, but more aligned.
I feel more creative again. Ideas come easily. I find myself wanting to write, reflect, and create without forcing it.
I’m still a little tired. As the renovation is ongoing, and winter naturally asks for slower energy, I feel more grounded.
Instead of pushing through exhaustion, I work with my energy now, not against it.
How can you start balancing these energies for yourself
You don’t need to change your whole life to find more balance.
You don’t need to quit your job, wake up at 5 am, or “be more feminine” overnight.
You just need awareness and a few small shifts.
Here’s what has helped me, and what you can try too:
1. Notice which energy you’re living in most
Ask yourself honestly:
- Am I mostly doing, pushing, planning, and achieving?
- Or am I floating, waiting, avoiding structure?
There’s no wrong answer.
2. Let your days have a natural rhythm
Masculine energy often fits naturally into daytime: work, structure, focus, tasks.
Feminine energy needs space too: evenings, mornings, weekends, moments with no agenda.
3. Create one daily “soft moment”
One moment where nothing needs to be achieved:
- a slow cup of tea
- a walk without headphones
- journaling without a goal
- sitting in silence for five minutes
This tells your nervous system: I am safe. I don’t have to rush.
4. Use structure to protect softness
This one changed everything for me.
Structure doesn’t have to be harsh. It can exist to protect your rest, creativity, and energy.
- Boundaries.
- Clear work hours.
- Simple routines.
- Fewer plans.
Structure holds the space, so softness can exist.
5. Trust that doing less doesn’t mean becoming less
- You don’t lose momentum by slowing down.
- You don’t lose ambition by softening.
- You don’t fall behind by listening to your body.
Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is stop forcing.
This isn’t about choosing feminine over masculine. It’s about letting them work together.
And when they do, life starts to feel calmer.
- More creative.
- More honest.
- More like you.
If you pause for a moment and check in with yourself: where do you feel most out of balance right now?
I write a monthly newsletter where I explore self-love, balance, and soft living more intimately. It’s a gentle space to reflect and reconnect with yourself.
You can join the circle here 🤍
