I believe it’s fair to say that we’ve all been hurt by the actions or words of others. Maybe a friend betrayed your trust, a family member said something cruel, or someone let you down when you needed them most. Or perhaps, even harder to admit, you’ve made choices you’re not proud of.
Forgiveness is often seen as something we do for others, but the truth is, it’s just as important—if not more so—to forgive ourselves.
Whether it’s forgiving someone or letting go of guilt, forgiveness helps lighten your emotional burden
The holiday season is the perfect time to forgive and let go of the past. Forgiveness—whether for others or yourself—is the first step to setting yourself free and moving forward.
Why Forgiveness Isn’t About Them—It’s About You
Forgiveness doesn’t mean saying that what happened was okay. It doesn’t mean justifying someone’s negative behavior, forgetting the hurt, or rebuilding the relationship.
Forgiveness isn’t about them at all—it’s about you. It’s about choosing to let go of the pain so it no longer controls you. By forgiving, you free yourself from anger and bitterness, creating space for peace, growth, and healing.
I’ve been hurt by the people I love most—people I thought cared about me deeply. And I’ve also hurt others, including myself, by making choices I’m not proud of. But I’ve learned that carrying the weight of guilt is too heavy to bear.
Emotional burdens are often the heaviest. They build up over time and, if not dealt with, can lead to breakdowns, anxiety, depression, or even physical illness. That is why, I practice forgiveness every single day—it’s my way of releasing what I don’t need to carry.
Forgiving others starts with empathy. When I’ve been hurt by loved ones, I try to understand why they acted the way they did. Were they struggling with something I couldn’t see? What shaped their behavior? By practicing this empathy, I’ve been able to let go of many hurts.
Forgiving doesn’t always mean rekindling a relationship. For example, there have been moments when I forgave someone in my heart, but I knew it wasn’t healthy to let them back into my life. In these cases, forgiveness gave me peace without the need to reunite.
At the same time, there have been relationships worth rebuilding after forgiveness. The difference, I’ve found, is in the context of the hurt:
- No Rekindling: If someone’s actions keep showing they don’t respect your well-being or trust, it’s okay to forgive them and move on without them.
- Rebuilding: If the person truly regrets their actions, is willing to change, or if the relationship is too important to lose, forgiveness can help rebuild a stronger connection.
Forgiving myself has also been one of the biggest challenges—and one of the greatest lessons. We’ve all done or said things we regret, especially when we were younger and still figuring life out. Mistakes are part of being human.
I’ve learned to analyze why I did what I did, acknowledge it, and promise myself to do better. That’s how I forgive myself and let go of shame. It’s not about pretending it never happened but about understanding that life is a journey of learning and growth.
The Power of Forgiveness Through Meditation
Forgiveness creates powerful shifts—not just emotionally but mentally and physically. When you forgive, your brain moves into a more peaceful state, unlocking benefits like:
- Decreased anger and hostility.
- Increased feelings of love and trust.
- Freedom from past events.
- Improved health and reduced stress.
- Healing from psychiatric disorders.
How to Practice Forgiveness Meditation
- Identify the person or act to forgive
When you first start this meditation, pick something easier to forgive.
- Create a safe space
This is the space where you are going to forgive that person.
- Tell them what they did
Imagine speaking directly to the person and describing, clearly and calmly, what they did that caused you pain.
- Feel the emotion
Reflect on the actions that caused you pain. Feel the anger or sadness, but only for a moment.
- Look for the lesson
Think about what you’ve learned from the experience. How has it shaped you or made you stronger?
- Practice empathy
Try to see the situation through the other person’s eyes. What pain or challenges might they have faced that influenced their actions?
- Forgive with compassion
Forgive them until you feel comfortable about their actions. This process may take time, and that’s okay—it might take many attempts, even for the same person.
Remember, forgiveness starts with yourself. By letting go of your guilt and shame, you open the door to a life filled with lighter, more loving energy.
Why Now Is the Perfect Time to Forgive
Every day presents an opportunity for a fresh start. Whether it’s the beginning of a new month, the start of a new week, or simply a day when you feel ready.
Life often brings up tough emotions—like memories of being hurt, unresolved arguments, or guilt about things we wish we’d done differently. These feelings can weigh us down and keep us stuck in the past.
Forgiveness allows us to free ourselves from these burdens and create space for peace, growth, and new energy. It doesn’t have to be dramatic or public. It can be a quiet decision in your heart to let go of resentment, bitterness, or self-blame.
6 Actionable Steps to Practice Forgiveness
1. Acknowledge the Hurt
Identify who or what has hurt you and how it has affected you emotionally. Write it down if it helps.
2. Understand the Cost of Holding On
Reflect on how carrying anger, resentment, or guilt is impacting your life. Is it holding you back or weighing you down?
3. Practice Empathy
Try to look at things from the other person’s point of view. What might have caused them to act that way? Understanding their reasons doesn’t excuse what they did, but it can help you move on.
4. Forgive Quietly in Your Heart
You don’t need to confront the person or announce your forgiveness. Simply decide in your own heart to release the anger or guilt.
5. Forgive Yourself
If you’re struggling with self-forgiveness, reflect on what you’ve learned from the experience and how you’ll do better moving forward. Remind yourself that mistakes are part of being human.
6. Use Forgiveness Meditation
Set aside time to practice forgiveness meditation (steps outlined above). It’s a powerful way to release emotions and cultivate compassion.
Final Thoughts
Forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. It doesn’t mean forgetting, excusing, or rekindling relationships that aren’t healthy.
It means letting go of the anger and guilt that have been weighing you down.
Take the opportunity to reflect on what you’re carrying and choose to let go of what no longer serves you.
Take the First Step
What’s one thing you’ve been holding onto that you’re ready to release? Write it down, reflect on it, and practice forgiveness—whether it’s forgiving someone else or forgiving yourself.
Share your thoughts and experiences, or connect with me on social media to continue the conversation.
Let’s step into the new year lighter, freer, and ready for growth.