Have you ever noticed how much lighter you feel after a good cry? I certainly have, but it wasn’t always this way for me. Allowing myself to cry and release my emotions was something I had to learn. Understanding that it’s okay to feel sad, angry, frustrated, or any other emotion is a part of being human. When we suppress our feelings, they only grow stronger, leading to more stress, hurt, and anxiety. Embracing our emotions is essential for healing and growth. But how do we do it? How do we heal by feeling?

Personally, this realization came to me the hard way.

All my life, I brushed my feelings under the rug, convinced myself that everything was okay, and ran away from reality. Running away for me meant keeping myself busy with other stuff, not talking or thinking about it. It always felt easier to escape than to face them. Living in a city full of friends made it even easier. Whenever I felt sad, I would call a friend and go out, keeping myself busy and temporarily forgetting my sadness. This pattern is repeated with many different emotions. Imagine how many suppressed feelings one can gather if one never tries to address them.

Almost two years ago, I found myself in a completely different environment. I, the city girl, moved to a secluded farm in Australia. At first, I thought, “How bad can it be, right?” I was always seeking new experiences, so I decided to give it a go. As the days went by, I started to feel more and more overwhelmed by my emotions. I realized that I couldn’t keep distracting myself as I had done in the past. The isolation on the farm made it almost impossible to escape from my feelings. I still remember this one day like it was yesterday. I could feel the storm of emotions building up inside me, and I knew I needed to face them instead of running away.

Feeling your feelings is the art of decoding what’s happening beneath the surface. Beneath the smile. Beneath all the doing and distractions that you use to avoid what’s going on emotionally. Beneath the part of us that’s not being truthful when saying, “I’m good,” “I’m fine.” “Everything is great,” when it’s not.

Every feeling carries a message. Sometimes it can be as simple as allowing yourself to feel the emotions until they pass. Other times, it guides you toward taking action.

How to Feel Your Emotions

Feeling your emotions is an important part of the healing journey. You might think you express your emotions all the time, but expressing is not the same as feeling. You need to learn how to sit with your emotions, acknowledge them, and not be afraid of them. Once you’ve processed them, you can let them go.

Step 1: Name your emotion

When emotions rise, label them. Studies have shown that simply naming it, makes your brain calmer.

The next time emotions come up, take a deep breath and name what you are feeling.

If you find it difficult to identify your feelings at first, check out the Feeling Wheel by Dr. Gloria Willcox. It can help you to identify your feelings more easily.

Step 2: Pay attention to the feeling

Start by scanning your body. Where do you feel the emotion? How does it feel? Try not to judge if it is right or wrong, just observe whatever comes to mind. Paying attention to your emotions is an important step in moving through it.

Step 3: Explore the root of your feeling

Now shift your attention towards understanding what circumstance brought up this emotion. Get curious about what message this emotion is trying to tell you.

The best way to explore this for me, is by journaling. Here are my favorite questions to uncover the root cause:

1. What happened to make me feel this way? Describe how you felt and why.
2. Identify what you can change and what you can’t.
3. Is there something else that is actually bothering me, and something triggered this emotion? Where is this coming from?
4. What is the most frustrating part about this?
5. What do I really want out of this situation?
6. What can I learn from this?

Step 4: Let go of the feeling

Feelings are meant to share their message and then leave the body.

Once you understand the purpose of this feeling, say thank you for helping you get to know yourself better, and then let it go.

Final thoughts

Feeling your feelings is easier said than done, but like everything, it takes practice. Over time it will get easier, and you’ll be able to manage your emotions better. It’s not always easy, but it is a powerful way to improve your mental health.

If you have any questions, please feel free to message me.

And don’t forget always to share your light!